I Like RayBans…

I accidentally crushed a pair of aviators, I sent them back to their headquarter, they assessed the damage and are sending me a new pair at a discounted rate.  That’s the way all businesses should be.  So, cheers to you, Luxxotica Group, and your classically trendy aviators.

On Teleportation

If I had one superpower, it probably would be teleportation.

(For the better part of a year I haven’t had the need to know what day it is. So, when people ask me what day it is, I, usually without flinching, say, “I don’t know.” To tell you the truth, I really don’t care what day it is.  I admit, this listless attitude toward the calendar has put me in a bind a couple times.  Most recently I took a trip to Japan and on both the way out and on the way back I thought my plane flight was one day later than it actually was.  I think this kind of mistake is forgivable because I was traveling across the International Dateline.  [The whole concept of the International Dateline is quite interesting, and I could probably pontificate on the peculiarities of this most mysterious meridian many times over.]  It gets really confusing traveling across the ID from the U.S. to Japan, because you “lose a day,” but of course, you get that day back when you travel back to the U.S.–I kind of like the return flight home because it brings an element of certainty back into my life.  For roughly the past 9 months of my life I didn’t know what day it was, but now, because I just traveled across the International Dateline, I can say with 100% confidence, “Today is the same day as yesterday.” Thank you, International Dateline, you have made my day more interesting already.)

I just teleported; I’m a superhero.

On Dr. Strangelove

Socially awkward things happen to me.

When I was flying back from Japan, I was fortunate enough to be on an airline that allowed me to watch movies on demand.  I had never watched Dr. Strangelove, although I knew it was a critically acclaimed film.  In order to kill 13 hours and catch up on classic cinematography, I watched it.  Before getting into it, I had a vague idea of what the movie was about, and everything was going fine until the end.  [Gratuitous use of the term "spoiler alert"] Footage of nuclear bombs goes off for about 2 minutes.   All the Japanese people sitting next to me turned and shook their heads with disapproval.

It’s Not a Job If You Are Having Fun

But what if you don’t have a job, and you aren’t having fun?  In this case, does unemployment count as a job?

I don’t have a job, and I’m having a lot of fun.  So, I don’t have a job, twice over?  Or do the two cancel each other out, in which case I then have a job?

Next Exit or This Exit?

When I first started driving on the freeways of LA, I was always exiting one exit too late.  Everything was always the “Next Exit,” but I couldn’t stop thinking about “This Exit.”  They never mentioned “This Exit,” as if the Department of Transportation was playing a sick mind game with me that was always supposed to keep me guessing.  Today is Monday. If I say that I am going to the baseball game next Saturday are you thinking that I will be at the baseball game happening in 5 days?  If you are, then you are wrong.  Getting back to the point, I always exit at the “Next Exit”–just out of spite.

Go Lakers!

For the Troops

You are remembered.

“War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself.

“Everyone who receives the protection of society owes a return for the benefit.

John Stuart Mill

On Wake Forest

I have been accepted to the MBA program starting in the Fall–I’m very stoked.  Thank you to all who helped me along the way; whether you said, “your essay is nothing but incoherent drivel,” or, “you abuse the semi-colon,” I genuinely appreciate your inputs.

On Concision

My blogs are exponentially shorter now than they were one year ago; I’m working on concision. Pretty soon I will have my blogs down to one word. You’ll get 1000 words of content compressed into one spondee–what a bargain!

On My Sabbatical

I spent the last four months studying for the GMAT, so I haven’t had the time or energy to blog.  I realize this isn’t really an issue since only about 5 people read this thing.  (Notably, one of my readers is from Iran [Mahmoud Ahmadinejad?].)

Since the GMAT took all my functioning neurons and redirected them to prime numbers, consecutive integers, and grammatical parallelism. <——That wasn’t even a sentence…

I am going to post a picture from a ski trip this past winter.  My nephew and I went to Wintergreen Resort in Virginia for some snowboarding in January.  I wanted to get a picture of my nephew going off a jump at night, so I started messing around with my camera so I could get the settings correct in order to get a good photo.  I snapped a bunch of photos in the dark, but I never could get it set up right.  Recently, I downloaded all my photos from my camera and started reviewing them…check this one out.

Best Wishes Rick Adams and Amanda Bordwell

Rick:  I’m not going to congratulate you on your wedding because saying “Congratulations!” implies that nobody thought you were wedding material.  Nay,  I know better than all those doubting Thomaseses out there.  So, instead I’m going to say “Best Wishes!”  And now that you are privy, the next time someone says “Congratulations!” you look them squarely in the eye, lean in close and say, “Thanks, but no thanks.”  (DISCLAIMER: If they take offense to your response, just tell them that you “didn’t understand the question”–that usually works.)