Please Stop, Dennis Rodman!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on January 8, 2014 by Andre

dennis-rodman-interview.jpg w=630

If Dennis Rodman stops now, he will drastically reduce the likelihood of contracting lung, mouth, and throat cancer.

On Chicken McNuggets

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on December 29, 2013 by Andre

There are basically two shapes of McNuggets, the slight oval and Louisiana.

On The Government Shutdown

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on October 1, 2013 by Andre

The Air Force vs. Navy football game may be affected by the shutdown, but my junk mail will still get delivered on time.

Hilton Hotel, Washington, D.C., February 2nd, 2012, at approximately 4:45pm

Posted in humor, Uncategorized with tags on September 17, 2013 by Andre

Concerned Citizen: Mr. President, what are you going to do about the economy?

President: Let me tell you a story. One day, on my way to dinner with some members of the press corps, a young man, probably about your age, came up to me and said, “Mr. President, what are you going to do about the economy?,” and I said, “I’m going to tell you what we are going to do about that. It’s about a fair and balanced approach…let me repeat that…a fair and balanced approach.”

Concerned Citizen: Yes, but [interrupted]

President: So then he said, “Yes, but” and I said to this young man, “Let me tell you a story. One day, on my way to dinner with some members of the press corps, a young man, probably about your age, came up to me and said, ‘Mr. President, what are you going to do about the economy?,’ and I said, ‘I’m going to tell you what we are going to do about that. It’s about a fair and balanced approach…let me repeat that…a fair and balanced approach.’”

 

The Reel Inn

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on April 17, 2013 by Andre

I was at a bar-b-que, when a friend of mine mentioned that her friends were going out to California soon. I started talking to them and learned they would be taking a road trip from LA to San Francisco via PCH. Then, I told them about one of the best restaurants en route, The Reel Inn in Malibu. By the time I am finishing rounding out my praises for their handling of the swordfish fishing moratorium, this man interrupts me and says that he and his wife are vegans, so they don’t eat meat, or even fish for that matter. So, I said, “Why, then, are you at a bar-b-que?”

Beirut

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on April 5, 2013 by Andre

One time I was flying to Beirut for business. About the time meal service was starting, the man next to me stood up and announced he was hijacking the plane. The flight attendant went up to him and told him that the plane was already on its way to Beirut. He thanked her, sat down, and then proceeded to order the chicken.

On Motorcyclists

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on July 12, 2012 by Andre

Motorcyclists are dangerous.  Every time I try to change lanes without signaling, one is in my way.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.